Off the Top

Have you all heard that I’m single-handedly bringing back the nickname? I’m on a campaign!

It has become my opinion that for whatever reason you wish to choose — a downturn in creativity is my favourite — the nickname has largely fallen out of usage. So I’m bringing it back. And to start with I’ve posited 3 rules of thumb. (A lot of this may have been disseminated on Seinfeld as well but this is what I find in my own experience):

1. You can’t make up your own nickname. (Pretty obvious, I know)

2. You have to dislike it at first. (But it can grow on you)

3. It has to somehow be descriptive of your person (pretty obvious too)

A few things that aren’t exactly rare yet you don’t see every day but I’ve seen in the last 7 days:

A 38″ northern (M caught it Saturday, T and I claim partial credit).

An 8 1/2 mile per hour speed limit.

The world’s shortest extension chord.

These latter two will be added to the Bonus Anomalisms.