We have had enough of hearing about “holiday lights,” “holiday shopping,” “holiday songs,” and the “holiday season” that we shall have to introduce a negative post here. Now you know we are not a negative person, so really this will just be a bit of thinly disguised levity. We recently discussed with a friend what the worst Christmas songs of all time were and concluded that a top five list was in order. The criteria: A nationally popular song; as written, not as covered; although a particularly bad or good cover might tip the scales one way or the other; a cover is eligible for dishonorable mention. So here they are, our top five worst Christmas songs of all time:
1. Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas-time
2. So This is Christmas (War is Over)
3. Little Saint Nick
4. Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer
5. Santa Baby
- Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey
- Santa Claus Is Coming to Town (Bruce Springsteen)
- Do You Hear What I Hear?
Do you have a Christmas song to nominate? Nominations will almost certainly make dishonorable mention.
2 thoughts on “Merry Christmas”
Good grief, “Santa Baby” fills me with the very opposite of yuletide cheer EVERY TIME I hear it. As much as I can help it, the song never gets past the first two words before it’s switched off.
Other songs for consideration:
• “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” by Frank Loesser — 1930s pop standard that has improved neither with age nor after numerous awful cover versions
• “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” by Donald Yetter Gardner — not endearing in any way
• “Same Old Lang Syne” by Dan Fogelberg — awesomely bad, nearly a parody of itself, and sort of a guilty pleasure (truly terrible, but makes me laugh every time I hear it)
Admittedly, I’ve come to enjoy “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas-time” with all of its saccharine, banal lightheartedness and ridiculous laser-synth…another guilty pleasure, I suppose.
I’ll give dishonorable mentions to all three. “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” makes the list at #6 since it was also nominated by JL.