I generated the following error message by submitting a specific SQL statement to IBM DB/2. Thus, it’s ineligible for the Crazy Wall of Errors or the anomalisms page but I post it herewith because it’s humorous.
Error: SQL0104 - Token WHITEY was not valid. Valid tokens: ( END GET SET CALL DROP FREE HOLD LOCK OPEN WITH ALTER BEGIN. (State:37000, Native Code: FFFFFF98)
heard on the radio: “…fantastic selection to choose from…”
Once again advertisers prove that they don’t value their advertising dollar enough to maximize it’s value.
G and I were playing “chess”, at least his version of it which is more like checkers but with a few twists. I decided to show him the rules of real chess since he seems to grasp checkers already. I started with the board setup. 2 minutes after I showed him the setup, he reproduced it…on his own…correctly! Yes, I suppose I’m bragging.
Also, me: “So, what did you do today?”
G: “Just lazed around.”
Whence comes this wit?
G got a board game for Christmas, “SORRY!: Disney Edition”. It has the standard four SORRY! colours, but the teams are Disney characters. There are teams of villians, cuddly animals, princesses, and heroes. In the very first game he played his Grandma, Grandpa, and Great-Grandma. G picked the villians team and Half-way through the game he bumped one of his grandparents. He said, “Sorry!” then declared, “Wait! I’m not supposed to say that. Bad guys don’t say ‘Sorry!'”
Also, LH has requested actual development on the “Bring it Back” page. I shall comply.
Truth: The wonderful thing about long-sleeved shirts is…you can roll up the sleeves.
Seen at the ghetto coffee shop down the block: A magazine from 1968 with an article entitled “COMPUTER DATA BANKS: Do they know too much about you?”
Some congressman had started a committee to investigate the all of these “data banks” with airlines and hotels and so forth and discover how nothing was stopping anyone from connecting them all with phone lines and making all of that information easy to retrieve…Interesting enough.
CM reacts, “What makes more sense the word databank or database, personally I would say databank.”
So it seems we have a new (dead) word on our hands that must be used. Database, henceforth you shall only answer to “databank”!
It’s that time of year again. Yes boys and girls, It’s time to remind everyone that I will not be using the ever more popular “Happy Holidays!” or “Have a great Holiday!” greetings. No sir, you may rest easy tonight as I’ll be using the tried and true “Merry Christmas!” again this year.
Pet peeves:
1. “[blank]-esque” This is a disturbing trend. It started with music reviewers writing “Beatle-esque” (wouldn’t it be “The Beatles-esque” anyway?) and now you can regularly hear a baseball broadcaster bellow “Barry Bonds-esque” or a political pundit proffer “Bill Clinton-esque”.
2. “the whole [blank] thing” Yet another of the wearisome phrases we use to give the lazy automatic rythym to our speech. Recently, this one has achieved ubiquity. Example: “I don’t do the whole coffee thing”.
What’s amazing about children (especially mine 🙂 is the joy they extract from our trivialities. C went for groceries last night of course the boys enjoyed helping put them away. B picked up a package of napkins and out he came with a big grin and “Oooh! Naa-kins! Oooh! Naa-kins!”
Your word for today is “vituperate”. It means “To rebuke or criticize harshly or abusively; berate.”
E.g, “If I ever meet the man who designed the PeopleSoft Enterprise One Software (formerly known as JDEdwards OneWorld), I shall bury him in a snow of vituperation.”
On a related note, I’m sure Enterprise One is an outstanding value, especially to manufacturing organisations. But programming it is painful. Hence, I’ve come up with a new nickname for the software, “Number One” (as in, “do you have to go number one or number two?”)