The Patrick Doctrine

Axioms, Observations

Some folks have been calling my nicknames doctrine “The Patrick Doctrine,” so I herewith I repost it with a slight expansion on the points.

1. You can’t make up your own nickname.
Folks do this enough that Seinfeld spent an episode on it. In agreement with Seinfeld, we say that if one nicknames himself, he should be mercilesslly renicknamed.

2. You have to dislike it at first.
Considering point 3, you won’t like an embarrassing nickname, till you learn to laugh with those who laugh at you.

3. It has to somehow be descriptive of your person or an incident from your past.
The best kind is a nickname that commemorates an embarrassing incident.

4. Diminutives are not nicknames.
Shmitty is not a nickname for Smith; Jack is not a nickname for John; etc.

5. Jesus was the most famous nicknamer.
Consider “Peter,” “The Sons of Thunder,” “Paul,” “Abraham,” “Israel,” and Revelation 2:17.

Be clear and direct

Observations

Lately, in e-mail and chat I am seeing a confusing pattern of writing. Folks are putting their questions in the form of a statement, with a question mark at the end. This habit makes our meaning unclear and puts a burden on the receiving party to decipher the message. Here is a perfect example:

I’m sure he knows this is urgent since you and Buddy already connected?

– Anonymous

Is this a question or a statement? Is the writer asking for a response? It’s difficult to say. Do your readers a favor and communicate clearly. Use a period or an exclamation point when you are making a statement, and put your questions in the form of a question.

Do not disturb mode: blech

Observations

Here’s one of those ironies of technology that makes you stop and think, “Why am I just accepting what Apple delivers?” When you set up your do not disturb mode on iPhone, it now disturbs you every time it activates or deactivates. So, rather than having a small chance of being disturbed by a text or notification, I have a 100% chance of being disturbed by “Do not disturb” mode.