Why carry a handkerchief? Reason No. 55: When you are eating chips and salsa, the salsa often drips and you want to have something on hand to wipe it up.

Why carry a handkerchief? Reason No. 56: After your airplane has corrosion-proofing applied, it may be greasy for several months.  You will want to wipe that stuff from your hands after the pre-flight inspection.

Why carry a pocketknife? Reason No. 50: Sometimes your fishing reel gets all snarled up, but a pocketknife can help fix that.

Why carry a pocketknife? Reason No. 51: If you’re at a picnic and about to put a brat on a bun that has not yet been split, deftly split that bun with your pocketknife!

Why carry a pocketknife? Reason No. 52: Before applying caulk, use your pocketknife to cut the tip to the proper size for your bead.

Why carry a pocketknife? Reason No. 53: When refilling the label printer, the box of labels will be sealed with that little round sticker.  A knife is the quickest and cleanest method to open that box.

Why carry a pocketknife? Reason No. 54: If you have just arrived in your deer stand and a branch is in the way, you can trim it.

Why carry a pocketknife? Reason No. 55: After the big event is finished, and you need not your plastic wristband, remove that thing!

Why carry a pocketknife? Reason No. 56: If one of those plastic wristbands is your ticket, you can trim that pesky tag end with your pocketknife.

As an Omro High School alumnus, you will excuse my lack of charity for the Hortonville Polar Bears, and anyway, someone has to ask the question.  Whose idea was it to model the Polar Bears’ track uniform on the Japanese Battle Flag?