Why carry a pocketknife? Reason No. 53: When refilling the label printer, the box of labels will be sealed with that little round sticker.  A knife is the quickest and cleanest method to open that box.

Why carry a pocketknife? Reason No. 54: If you have just arrived in your deer stand and a branch is in the way, you can trim it.

Why carry a pocketknife? Reason No. 55: After the big event is finished, and you need not your plastic wristband, remove that thing!

Why carry a pocketknife? Reason No. 56: If one of those plastic wristbands is your ticket, you can trim that pesky tag end with your pocketknife.

As an Omro High School alumnus, you will excuse my lack of charity for the Hortonville Polar Bears, and anyway, someone has to ask the question.  Whose idea was it to model the Polar Bears’ track uniform on the Japanese Battle Flag?

Why carry a pocketknife? Reason No. 57: If you borrow a shotgun that hasn’t been oiled recently, you may need to nudge a spent shell out the ejection port.

Why carry a handkerchief? Reason No. 57: Sometimes hot peppers make you sweat.  A handkerchief is great for wiping sweat off your forehead.

Why carry a handkerchief? Reason No. 58: If you hastily open your can of diet cola, it will splatter, and you will need something to clean the splatter.

Why carry a handkerchief? Reason No. 59: Sometimes when you are praying with someone who is troubled, your eyes will leak. So you need a hanky.

Why carry a handkerchief? Reason No. 60: If you enter a car wash, simultaneously rolling up your window, you can mop up the water that splashes in.