Why carry a handkerchief? Reason 98: Whilst changing guitar strings, you might prick your finger on a string and have to wipe off the blood.

We have been given the gift of clarity — clarity about the problem with “Social Media” — and of all the things that could have given us this gift, it was a church sign. The church sign read, “Thankful for all those who gave their lives serving God and Country,” and while we wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment, it occurs to us that the sentence reads just like a tweet and thus, we worry that the sign-writer is overly influenced by Twitter.  O.k., fine…

Maybe we are annoyed because this is an incomplete sentence.  Maybe we extend some grace because we note that the guy is limited by the number of those pesky letters that will fit on the sign (and worried about the ones that will fall out).

Then, with a modicum of thought, we notice that we can shorten the sentence.  Our sign would read, “Thank you to all those who gave their lives serving God and Country.” And here is where we see our problem.  We have realized that the greater issue here is that the first version of the sentence (“Thankful for…”) has the wrong subject!  The focus in that sentence is the author and his feelings, instead of where it should be, on those who gave their lives.

Why carry a Handkerchief? Reason 99: You might drop a bullet in the mud and then you need to wipe it clean before firing it.

Last week, we celebrated a milestone in a project at home by picking up a pie from Rocky Rococo.  The boys asked for bread sticks, but I suddenly realized.  The same children who do not eat the crusts on their sandwiches, do not eat the crusts on their pizza.  What is left when you do not eat your deep dish pizza crusts?  Bread sticks are left.  That’s what.  So, we noted the inconsistency of asking bread sticks, while declining to eat your deep dish crusts.  We did not order bread sticks.

The other day, I listened as one of my children opined on the superior tastiness of Subway bread relative to the standard loaf we buy for sandwiches at home.  I noted that he often left his bread crusts uneaten at home and didn’t he see the inconsistency in his statement?  He did not understand.  I explained further.  Part of the reason why you like subway bread is that it has more crust.  That is, it has crust around the entire sandwich; the crust to bread ratio is higher.  So, why don’t you leave the crust of your Subway bread?  The answer may simply be in the perception of the bread, and it may be in the relative thicknesses of the crusts in question, but we claim that most breads are improved by their crusts.