Why carry a handkerchief? Reason 97: When your son drops yellow doughnut sprinkles on the Xterra’s right seat, you need to clean the seat.

Why carry a handkerchief? Reason 98: Whilst changing guitar strings, you might prick your finger on a string and have to wipe off the blood.

We have been given the gift of clarity — clarity about the problem with “Social Media” — and of all the things that could have given us this gift, it was a church sign. The church sign read, “Thankful for all those who gave their lives serving God and Country,” and while we wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment, it occurs to us that the sentence reads just like a tweet and thus, we worry that the sign-writer is overly influenced by Twitter.  O.k., fine…

Maybe we are annoyed because this is an incomplete sentence.  Maybe we extend some grace because we note that the guy is limited by the number of those pesky letters that will fit on the sign (and worried about the ones that will fall out).

Then, with a modicum of thought, we notice that we can shorten the sentence.  Our sign would read, “Thank you to all those who gave their lives serving God and Country.” And here is where we see our problem.  We have realized that the greater issue here is that the first version of the sentence (“Thankful for…”) has the wrong subject!  The focus in that sentence is the author and his feelings, instead of where it should be, on those who gave their lives.

Why carry a Handkerchief? Reason 99: You might drop a bullet in the mud and then you need to wipe it clean before firing it.

Last week, we celebrated a milestone in a project at home by picking up a pie from Rocky Rococo.  The boys asked for bread sticks, but I suddenly realized.  The same children who do not eat the crusts on their sandwiches, do not eat the crusts on their pizza.  What is left when you do not eat your deep dish pizza crusts?  Bread sticks are left.  That’s what.  So, we noted the inconsistency of asking bread sticks, while declining to eat your deep dish crusts.  We did not order bread sticks.

The other day, I listened as one of my children opined on the superior tastiness of Subway bread relative to the standard loaf we buy for sandwiches at home.  I noted that he often left his bread crusts uneaten at home and didn’t he see the inconsistency in his statement?  He did not understand.  I explained further.  Part of the reason why you like subway bread is that it has more crust.  That is, it has crust around the entire sandwich; the crust to bread ratio is higher.  So, why don’t you leave the crust of your Subway bread?  The answer may simply be in the perception of the bread, and it may be in the relative thicknesses of the crusts in question, but we claim that most breads are improved by their crusts.

“Bare with me!”

First, it is not a surprise to readers of this web log that I enjoy poking fun at the political correctness that results in things like the elimination of the word Christmas. As I was attending our local back to school open house, I observed the sign-up sheets for parental help at the following holiday parties: Thanksgiving, Valentine’s Day, Easter, and Holiday.  It needs no comment.

There are four holiday parties.

Second, more than I enjoy poking fun at political correctness, I enjoy cookies, and there is a tradition that parents will bring cookies to the open house.  I noted this, and C reminded me that parents were asked to bring store packaged cookies only.  That is to say, leave Grandma’s cookies at home.   Today, I learned that the same rule applies to the several holiday parties; bring your store-bought treats, but leave your home-baked goods at home.  It seems someone is afraid that not everyone’s kitchen is as clean as his or the school’s or your local grocer’s.

But lo! A few parents brought homemade cookies anyway!  This got me to working on an idea.  Martin Luther King Jr., in Letter from Birmingham Jail, defends the Biblical idea that “one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws.”  I would not elevate the fight for homemade cookies to the level of the fight for civil rights.  The fight for Christmas may someday approach it.  I am compelled, however, to note that the perpetual fight for liberty is at the core of all three, and that one cannot dismiss the cookie rules as the harmless regulation of a misguided do-gooder.  With apologies to Dr. King, a thoughtful man might conclude that “one has a moral responsibility to scoff at stupid rules and wantonly disobey asinine suggestions…with a smile.”

“They” say that the best way to find a lost item is to buy a new one.  I lost a lens cover last weekend.  I looked everywhere and couldn’t find it, so I stopped at my local big box and bought a new one — $7.  In my mind, I predicted that when I got home I would find the old one, and what is more, I would not find it till after I had opened the package of the new one.  After I got home I forgot about my prediction and then delayed opening the new package in hopes of finding the old one yet.  Finally I opened it.  I placed the new cover on the lens, and then picked up a mini tripod to place in the side pocket of my bag, and guess where I found the old lens cover.  That’s right, in the side pocket.  Within thirty seconds of opening the package, I found the old cover.  Spooky…