Adventures

A Flight of Swallows

Adventures

Last night we were sitting outside around a little campfire and saw a queer and amazing thing.  It was almost dusk and a flock of swallows were flying overhead in a layer.  They were spread out in a swath maybe a half-mile wide, all flying east-southeast, and they just kept coming for about 10 minutes.  I would guess there were 500 of them in view at a given moment and 30,000 of them in the whole flock.  The only thing I could think of was that the mosquitoes were coming out and it was feeding time, but I could not help but wonder why they were all flying at the same altitude and why they were all going the same direction together and whence they were coming and whither they were going.  It was all rather surreal.

Driving Advice

Adventures, Observations

Assumption: If the speed limit on a given road is 55 miles per hour, then that speed limit is the speed — give or take a few miles per hour — that is reasonable to drive under perfect conditions.  Question:  Is it reasonable to expect folks to drive less than 55 mph under less than perfect conditions?  Another question:  Is it reasonable to expect folks to drive substantially less than the posted speed limit when conditions are almost as bad as they could possibly be — to wit, a half inch sheet ice covering the road?

 It is interesting to me that if visibility is less than 50 feet or so, folks tend to drive quite slow, but when icy conditions impair their stopping and steering ability, they do not slow down.  But the effect is the same.  You can’t stop or steer in time to miss your target. 

 I suspect that if folks tested their traction more often on slick roads, they would slow down more.

 And here is another thing.  While driving in heavy snow yesterday, we had probably 40 cars pass us.  38 out of 40 had Illinois plates.  Interesting?  I think so.

Called by Recuiter

Adventures

I’m used to being called by recruiters (a.k.a. headhunters). This week at my current work location, I have received three distinct calls from the same recruiter, who called me by name and skillset. This would be unremakable, save the fact that I don’t even know my own phone number here.

Got a Knife?

Adventures

B.B. tells us a funny [true] story. He was checked in at the airport and walking out to the plane when a passenger’s wedding ring got stuck between the rollers on the luggage rack. An airline employee, eager to solve the problem, began asking the passengers, “Does anybody have a knife?”

An Interesting Correspondence

Adventures

You may enjoy this exchange with a customer from a few years back. I’ve changed the names to protect the guilty:

Dear Joe,

I reviewed your Sarbanes Oxley compliance document and noticed a few things that are worthy of mention:

1. The security section requires that sensitive information be encrypted in transit but most users do not have encryption tools available.

2. The security section mentioned that a user is not allowed to disable his virus scanner, yet this is permitted on most or all workstations.

3. The security section requires that if possible a session must time out after 30 minutes, but none of the windows workstations times out. This is something that could be centrally controlled.

Yours Truly,

AP

And the response:

Thanks for your feedback. I’ll forward your email to Sue and Francine and add it to my file.

Joe

Profane Personage (No. 2)

Adventures

Today, I sit across the light brown cubicle wall from yet another proverbial profane personage. Yes, I said I would sit next to him again and here I am. I shall label this one a subspecies since his habits are different from my former profane office mate. This man spits vituperation and vulgar slang in a tone that ranges from ill-tempered to hateful.

He just picked up the telephone so I shall narrate. Now he asks “What the f___?” Now calls his customer’s mother a bitch. Now he calls for God’s damnation on some thing or other. Now he slams the receiver down. Well, at least he is unhappy about that conversation.

[Sigh]